I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Girls should come with a carfax report
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
