Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
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