There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
