Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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