he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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