hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
