Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
