oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Randomize
