Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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