I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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