we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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