ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
im about as happy as oj after his trial
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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