But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I can't turn off my feet"
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
