I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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