At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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