I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Randomize
