I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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