you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
