YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
