Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize
