Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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