I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
