She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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