This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
