Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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