I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
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Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
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I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?