The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.