I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
