Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!