Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
