he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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