She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
