Where are you?
In a non slutty way
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
i now understand why vodka
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
