Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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