How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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