My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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