we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
