This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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