Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
