Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
