the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
