You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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