Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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