we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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