so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
