Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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