I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
