do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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