Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
