I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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