you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
