So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I need water and some morals
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
