i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I want you more than these girls want KFC
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
This toilet bowl is my home.
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