You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
