Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
