I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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