She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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