No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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