there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
as a side note pls kill me
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
