Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
